So, I watched the movie “Temple Grandin” yesterday—what an amazing lady she is. I cried numerous times as it resonated with my experience of growing up with Aspergers traits.
Why do we not ‘get’ other people’s rolled eyes and disinterest. I mean I get it, they’re not interested but why are they so mean about it? In the section in the film where she’s at a dinner party and telling some people about her research, to me it comes across as the listeners are ignorant and only want to stick to small talk that they are comfortable with, rather than taking an interest in Temple’s research and actually learning something new. It’s not her that’s the problem, it’s their lack of polite social skills.
I read this earlier today in an academic preparation course I am doing for uni. I found it quite relevant to what I have been trying to understand for a while:
Where the normal communication channels are limited, communication success is particularly dependent on the receiving partner’s sensitivity and skill (Brown et al. 1998). Communication outcomes are influenced by the partner’s ability to identify communication opportunities, restrict anticipation of needs and wants, and recognise the contextual frame (Butterfield, Arthur & Sigafoos 1995:102). In addition, ‘significant barriers to communication are present if the partner does not value communication attempts’ (von Techner & Jensen 1999:459). Therefore, the importance of assessing the communication partners’ ability cannot be overstated (Butterfield, Arthur & Sigafoos 1995; Siegel-Causey & Bashinki 1997).
So, to me, that speaks volumes. I have often been given the cold shoulder for being passionate about something and left to feel like it was always my fault. Often, it has sent me off in an incorrect tangent because other people’s reactions left me full of self-doubt and insecurity. But, I am learning to pull myself together and give less out to others; I think I’ll progress on my path much more consistently and quickly in the process.